Being alone is not that nice anymore.. Last time i enjoyed my life being alone but not anymore..
Evrytime I'm alone, I have nothing to do, I will just feel sad lately that's why I'm emoing more often.
I think it's the aftermath of being with my family for 2 weeks overseas. It's not because of the fact that I'm with my family for that 2 weeks but going together for such a long time with the whole family (minus my bro sadly ): ) is what I miss the most now.
I've been going back 6 times eversince I came to SG in Nov 2008 and last December I was with my family for almost 2 months but this last june I became more attached to my family and I feel so sad to be separated once again. It is still around 130 days before I'll go back to my real home again.
One of my friends is rumored to go back to her original life, the usual life in Indonesia. I know that many people dont want to go back to Indo after studying abroad. But For now, I dont know, I wanna go back also. I feel like studying in Indonesia will be better for me again. Coming back to my previous condition of life. But then who knows that maybe after leaving this place and comeback to Indonesia, I might hurt some people feeling especially my family. I wont do that for sure, I'll never let myself hurt them.
This nightmare sometimes haunt me in my sleep. A few days ago, I dreamt that I'm back in Indonesia. For holiday only *yeah even in my dream, I'm only at my home during holiday* and my parents have to leave somewhere else because something happens. I dont know what happened. Anyway, they wont let me go together instead I went back to Sing *sigh*.
Anyway, because of that, I become more afraid of living here. I'm afraid that if something happen in Indonesia *whether with my family or friends, whether it is a good thing or bad thing*. I'm afraid that when something happened, I wont be in Indo. I dont want. I want to be with my family all the time. *hhh.. feeling like such a mommy daughter and such a spoilt kid*
I dont know it's just my feeling.
My current feeling : Gooooooo Baaaaaaaack
11th November please come sooner than 133 days...
If you've decided to move forward, that's good. 133 days will soon become lesser and lesser. One wise tip that I got last year is that 2nd semester always felt faster than the 1st.
ReplyDeleteI mean c'mon, only about 8 weeks left of the period of daily survival. Then exams will come and go. It's like, 2 more EZ top up periods. I'm thinking of celebrating that with something fun, or unusual, or both. ^^
I'm sorry if somehow my presence does not help to ease ur loneliness tho.
I hope this can make you feel better if I let you know that I'm actually all ears. Well except for gossip overdose. :P